


Like a Bullet to the Chest

by thatdamnuchiha



Series: MadaSaku Week 2020 [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Yakuza, BAMF Haruno Sakura, BAMF Sai (Naruto), Crack, F/M, Haruno Sakura is Petty, Haruno Sakura-centric, Kidnapping, MadaSaku Week, MadaSaku Week 2020, Protective Haruno Sakura, Protective Sai (Naruto), Rivalry, Sai and Sakura are Bros, Trust, Who... like... kill people together, of sorts, with sprinkles of plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23154985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdamnuchiha/pseuds/thatdamnuchiha
Summary: In which it all starts with Sasuke getting kidnapped. Sakura goes to rescue him, and winds up bumping into the leader of the Uchiha Clan.ORMadara is vindictive. Sakura is petty. Their first meeting goes about as well as one could expect, and things spiral from there.Day 1 (15/3)•	Mafia/Yakuza AU•	Abducted•	“Trust me.”
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Sai, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Madara
Series: MadaSaku Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664476
Comments: 125
Kudos: 646
Collections: Of Fluff and Crack, follow up





	1. abducted

**Author's Note:**

> Well then... so it begins.
> 
> First of all to note, I'm not that great with modern and mafia/yakuza AUs, but if you don't try you'll never get better, so here I go. The prompts were as follows:  
> Day 1 (15/3)  
> • Mafia/Yakuza AU - well, the Uchiha is basically a clan of whatever you want to call it, and Sakura's a hitwoman, so there you go.  
> • Abducted - featuring some abductions, both of others and the two we're focusing on here, enjoy.  
> • “Trust me.” - well, I did try to work this line in at places, so here's to hoping I've managed all three prompts successfully, though I believe there's just a minimum of at least one per fic.
> 
> Oh, and it turns out I didn't manage to get too much of this fic written up - and it's short chapters unlike 'Twiceborn: Adventures of the Red-Haired Menaces' so, as long as I have the right motivation, I'm hoping to have chapters written and up fairly quickly - but no promises, since I've now got six other fics on the go on top of all the rest.

“You idiot! Wrong mobile—”

Sakura blinked as the sound cut off, the tone of the call ended ringing in her ear as she pulled her smartphone away from her head. She stared down at the screen, confirming that she had just tried to call Sasuke, rather than accidentally dialling the wrong number. A frown replaced the smile on her lips, and she pondered over what had just happened. Either Sasuke’s phone had been stolen, or something else just as nefarious had taken place.

Maybe, had it been anyone bar Sakura who’d heard that short little message, they would have written it off as something strange and hoped for the best when they next tried to call him. Maybe they would have assumed Sasuke’s friends had stolen his phone. Unfortunately, for the people involved, it _had_ been Sakura who heard.

And it set off the instincts her parents had ingrained into her like a wildfire.

If there was anything she had come to rely on in her profession it was those. They were right more often than not, and they’d kept her alive in many a sticky situations. So she went and clicked open the app linked to the GPS trackers she had implanted into all of her closest friends’ phones – without their knowledge, of course. They were only for use in times of emergency, hence why she hadn’t told them. Sakura didn’t particularly want them finding out about her more private life, nor the _family_ business she had been involved in since the tender age of five.

Sasuke had been kept out of his own _family_ business, as far as she was aware, and there was no need to drag him down into the shadows where the real monsters like herself lurked. _Though apparently_ , she mused, staring down at the location of Sasuke’s red dot on her map, _he might have been forcibly dragged in by external forces_.

Scowling, she noted the location, spinning on her heel as she mentally calculated the route she’d need to take to get to the little abandoned warehouse on the docks. _So very cliché._ Sakura rolled her eyes, dialling a new number as she took a small detour. She needed supplies for where she was going.

The phone clicked. “Hey, Ugly.”

“Yeah, hey to you too, Dickface,” she greeted, fumbling for her keys as she reached one of her and Sai’s many safehouses and storage vaults they had around the city of Konoha. “Listen, something might have happened to one of my friends—”

“Dickless?” Sai inquired in that all too placid tone of his.

“The other one.”

She could feel his fake smile from her end of the line. “Ah, Emo. Think he got dragged into the _family_ business already? I thought Weasel would want to keep him safe from it at all costs. He struck me as the overprotective type.”

“You met him _once_ , Sai, literally _once_ , and I’ll remind you – you creeped everyone out,” Sakura grumbled, rolling her eyes as she peered through the selection of weapons at her disposal. “But anyway, back to the matter of why I called you—”

“Got it,” he said. “I’ll start planning your funeral.”

“Fuck you, Sai,” she hissed. “At least wait until next morning.”

“Sure thing, Ugly,” he remarked. “Try not to die. Planning your funeral would be rather bothersome, and people would probably expect me to cry.”

“See you soon, Dickface.” Ending the call, she stuffed her smartphone back into her pocket, freeing her hands so she could pull the bag she needed off the shelf. “Right,” she mumbled to herself, pawing through her bag as she checked everything was in order. “Excellent… Everything’s there.” Sakura glanced at the clock. “Just a little longer, Sasuke,” she whispered. “Then I’ll figure out what’s going on.”

In reality, it wasn’t too hard to figure out what was going on.

Stealthily, she snuck into the fenced off little compound, dressed in her usual urban camouflage, eternally grateful to the fact there was already a tear in the chain-link. Cracking out the bolt cutters that early would have been tedious and time-consuming. Her parents had trained her in the arts of sleuthing and sneaking when they had first brought her into the world of underground clans and hitmen. Starting earlier than most of her peers there had only brought her benefits. At twenty-one she was now a well-accomplished hitwoman whose civilian identity was still relatively secret – a difficult thing to achieve for most – though she supposed she mostly had Zabuza’s discreteness to thank for that.

Scouting the property was fairly easy, as was waiting. If there was one thing which was crucial, and so very annoying to her, it was that she always needed to be patient. Whether it was for the target to be in the optimal spot, or even just to observe their daily routine.

Sasuke was in the largest room, she could see from one of the few old miraculously intact windows, with only a couple of dilapidated metal shelves left in the large room of what must have been a warehouse of some description. He was tied to the chair, with four hostiles in close proximity. Though, she noted with some relief, none of them seemed to have a gun drawn and ready. It gave her a window of opportunity with which to work with before Sasuke would be in too great of a danger.

She jumped back down from the little sloping roof to the ground, footsteps silent as she snuck to her entry point – the backdoor, guarded only by a single man who was easy enough to deal with. Just snapped his neck and placed him carefully down, but it was as she was patting him down for the key to the lock on the door that her instincts sung, knife spinning in her hand as she moved—and then she felt the cold barrel of a gun against the back of her head.

 _Too late,_ her mind whispered to her, and she froze as the low, melodic voice sounded.

“And just what are you doing here?”

Sakura’s eyes narrowed. “Rescuing someone, not that it’s any of your business,” she said, grip tense on her knife. Given how she hadn’t been shot before they announced their presence, there was only one thing they could be there for – Sasuke. _And they hadn’t shot her because she was actually being of some use._

“And why would you be doing that?” that same voice continued, sounding just as nonchalant as though they weren’t there to do the exact same thing.

Sakura scowled, and the gun shifted, reminding her she ought not to annoy the idiot holding her life in their hands too much. “Favour for a friend.”

“And which friend would that be?”

“The one who will be keeping their name out of this,” she muttered. “Now either get that gun away from my head and help me rescue Sasuke or hurry up and shoot me. Trust me… or don’t. I haven’t got all night.”

A loud sigh was all she received. “Well, how about this, then…” There was a split second pause, and Sakura smirked at the irritation lining the man’s voice as he spoke next. “I’ll remove my gun from your head, if you take that knife away from my balls.”


	2. trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Painfully short chapter... but it's the day after the last update.

Tucking the knife away, Sakura stood, eyes narrowed as she turned to face the man behind her. There was no mistaking the fact he was Uchiha, nor the fact he was undoubtedly closely related to her friend. The bluish-black hair, and the wild cut left no doubt of that. _Family_. Her eyes darted down. His gun was still drawn, but no longer pointed at her, thankfully.

Movement in her peripheral had her eyes darting onto the second figure, his hair the same colour as the man in front of her, leaving her no doubt the Uchiha had come to rescue Sasuke. _And here she thought they would have taken longer… or been more cautious, given the apparent hostage situation._ But no. There they were in all their Uchiha glory.

“You’ve cleared the entranceway for us,” the presumed elder of the two spoke, gesturing for her to step back. “We can take it from here.”

“Oh really?” Her eyebrows rose. “I’d rather at least take out the hostiles myself before leaving the situation in your _capable_ hands.”

Red eyes gleamed in the moonlight, an uneasy shiver running down her spine. “I’d trust you about as far as I could throw you, my dear – which isn’t all that much, despite what you might think,” he said, unsmiling as he glared all the harder at her. Sakura spared a glance at the defined muscles peeking out from under the clothes he wore, supressing the whistle she wanted to let loose. _She was almost jealous… well, maybe she would be if the man wasn’t as much of a complete arse as he was_. A point further proven by his next words. “Get lost before I put a bullet between those pretty little eyes of yours… since you seem to be working for a _friend_ of Sasuke’s, I’m willing to be that merciful…”

Sakura felt her face twitch. “Anything I can do to get you to trust me?” she grumbled, eyes flickering between him and the warehouse. “I do rather want to finish what I came here to do.”

“You can get lost,” he said pleasantly. “Before I make you, one way or the other.”

“Bold words,” Sakura muttered, hand falling to her hip where her own gun was secured. Sai never let her go anywhere without firearms rather than the knives and poisons she preferred whenever possible. The habit had stuck – more so because otherwise Sai got annoyingly protective if she didn’t. _And that was downright weird and creepy to observe._

She didn’t know what she was expecting in response to her words – maybe for the man to retort with something vaguely threatening again, but evidently his patience with her had run thin and he moved faster than she could blink. Pain blossomed in her shoulder, muffled curses escaping her as she stumbled back as quietly as possible.

The _bastard_ had shot her.

“Be grateful it wasn’t the head, brat,” he remarked, casually stepping over her as she edged away from him as best she could despite the _pain_. She gritted her teeth, silently reminding herself she’s had worse. _And she hadn’t been able to retaliate and pay back the humiliation before._

Sakura cursed him quietly, pulling herself back to her feet, hurrying away to hide behind one of the debris piles closest to the exit point she’d made for herself, quietly seething all the while. She spared a glance at the wound, grateful he hadn’t shot her dominant side.

It meant she could still shoot the arsehole when he remerged, before hurrying off to get treated by her favourite doctor.

_Nobody called her irritatingly short twenty-one year old self a brat and got away with it – and that was on top of shooting her too._

She was petty like that.

_Shannaro._


	3. healing

“Do I even want to know why you have the exact same injury as the Uchiha Clan Head?” Tsunade remarked, staring at her freshly bandaged shoulder.

Sakura blinked. “Wait. That arse was the _leader_ of the Uchiha Clan?” she enquired, something akin to excitement and fear bubbling in her gut as Tsunade levelled her with a flat look. “Fuck.”

“Indeed,” her mentor said, already knowing exactly what she had done by her wording alone. “You might have to lay low for a little while. Or I can contact my cousin—”

“I’m not interested in working for the Senju as their pet assassin,” she said, glaring flatly at her before she could get another word out. “You know what happens to outsiders like that, unless they’re the kind who marry into the clan.”

“Well…”

Sakura stared at Tsunade flatly. “ _Not. Interested,”_ she declared as blatantly as she could. “Please, kindly, stop trying to set me up with people. I’ll settle down when I’m good and ready.”

“You’re not getting any younger,” Tsunade remarked, stepping back, her work done.

Scowling, Sakura sat up. “Neither are you,” she muttered.

“My situation is… complicated,” she said for what had to be the hundredth time. “Yours isn’t… besides, is it wrong for me to want you to be happy?”

Sakura let out a long breath, swinging her legs over the side of the small bed in the backstreet clinic. Her arm hung in the sling, and she groaned, knowing Sai was going to pitch a fit, and that she’d be stuck off the field for a while – likely playing intelligence to Sai from the safety of a small room while he worked. _All because of a certain arse who’d shot her._ She hadn’t even been getting in the way – she’d just wanted to rescue her idiot friend. _Well, her slightly less idiotic friend._

Naruto was the more idiotic of the two, but he made the most of it, mainly by endearing himself to almost everyone he met. Sakura was glad he only had tenuous links to the Senju Clan, since that kind of charisma was dangerous in the wrong hands.

_She’d heard tales of Senju Hashirama._

He was one of the most dangerous men out there… _along with the man she’d just shot like the petty idiot she was._ Though that fact didn’t stop the satisfaction from curling in her gut like a contented cat.

“Thanks, old lady,” she grumbled, jumping off the bed, wincing as a hand came down on her injured shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Sakura… what did you just call me?” Tsunade asked, tightening her grip, and Sakura whimpered.

“My wonderful, beautifully young mentor?”

Tsunade patted her on the back, releasing her. “You’re good to go,” she said, continuing as though she hadn’t just inflicted more pain on her. Sakura was used to those ways though, having been around the older woman for years. She had known her since her parents introduced them when she was younger. “Don’t forget to take the meds I’ve assigned, otherwise you’ll be rolling around in agony…” She spared a glance at her shoulder. “Well… maybe not rolling.”

“Just lying on the floor,” Sakura offered, and Tsunade nodded once, before heading back to her little work station.

“I know it’s probably a lost cause, but stay safe out there,” she called as Sakura opened the door. “I don’t want to see you again for the rest of the year – unless it’s to take me out to dinner to catch up, alright brat?”

Sakura stuck her middle finger up.

Tsunade’s laughter was cut off by the door closing.

* * *

“So,” Sai smiled down at her as she sat on the sofa – possibly one of the scariest things she’d ever seen. “You rushed off to rescue your friend, even though the Uchiha were going to his rescue… and they shot you because you were insistent on barging in on a situation they would have had full control of had it not been for you. You were hit – thankfully in a nonvital area – so you decided to shoot them back, before running for the hills and Tsunade’s clinic…”

Sakura tilted her head. “That about sums up the situation, yes.”

“You’re grounded,” Sai declared flatly.

“Of course, _mother_ ,” she grumbled, rolling her eyes as she put her feet up on the coffee table. _She had been expecting it._ Plus she had long since learnt to _pick_ her battles with her beloved partner who’d clawed his way up from the bottom of the barrel alongside her.

She could still remember when they had first met, young, fresh-faced, with both her parents just killed on a mission. _The same mission she had just gone and finished with vengeance – the calm, scary kind, which she’d only really managed back then._

Sakura sighed. _Those were the days…_ Because Sai had actually looked up to her in awe for a few years before he became that which he was now. “Wanna watch a movie together while you chew me out over popcorn and chocolate?”

“Acceptable.”

“Then go and get the popcorn and the chocolates, gofer,” she ordered, hastily ducking under the knife which buried itself in the sofa with a soft thud. Sakura stared between the knife and her best friend. “Rude.”

Sai turned on his heel, heading towards the kitchen of one of the numerous little hideouts around the city, still doing as she asked despite the knife.

“I knew you loved me really.”

Really, it shouldn’t have surprised her when she had to dodge a second dagger.

“You’re stitching the sofa up, you hear me?” she called, staring at the two substantial rips in their sofa, silently wondering when they should get a new one. Killing and threatening people for hire was a lucrative business, and both she and Sai were very good at their jobs nowadays. _Aside from the occasional mishap like the day before._

Popping alerted her to popcorn being prepared, and she smiled smugly – even as Sai dumped a bowlful on the coffee table in front of her, before heading back to the kitchen to get their drinks. _He was such a good gofer sometimes._ Sakura grinned, shovelling a handful of popcorn into her mouth, freezing as she tasted the salt.

“You know I like sweet popcorn, don’t you?”

Sai hummed to himself. “I know.”

“Dick,” Sakura muttered fondly, crunching on popcorn. _Popcorn was popcorn, and she’d enjoy it either way._ After all, Sai had gone to the effort to make it for her while her shoulder was out of action.


	4. meeting

Sakura groaned as she lay on the sofa, glancing between the popcorn on the ground, and Sai’s similarly snoozing form. He was awake now, no doubt – thanks to the ringing of her mobile. A glance at the clock told her it was four o’clock. _In the afternoon._ They were meant to be having a lazy day. Sai hadn’t gone to the range to keep his shooting skills sharp like he usually did on Wednesdays, but he could easily reschedule his slot. Kisame tended to be reasonable when it came to one of his most frequent customers.

She brought the phone to ear. “Speaking,” she muttered, sitting bolt upright as Sasuke’s voice flooded her ear.

“Who is it?” Sai grumbled, pulling the blanket over his head as if that could drown out the noise.

“Sasuke.”

Sai sat up, head swivelling towards her faster than she could blink. “No,” he said flatly.

“I didn’t even say anything yet!” she hissed, waving a fist in his direction before she turned her attention back onto Sasuke’s invitation. “You’re at the range? Seriously?” she asked, chewing on her lip. _She might as well go down and meet him with Sai – if only to ensure he didn’t shoot himself._

“Izuna said I could invite some friends… since I wasn’t too keen—”

“Sakura!” Naruto bellowed, no doubt having snatched the mobile out of Sasuke’s hands – if the shouting and sounds of a scuffle were any indication. “You gotta come down! This is gonna be awesome!”

“Sai—”

“ _No.”_

“We’re going down to Akatsuki’s,” she said, ignoring the minute twitching of Sai’s face. “You can come with me if you’re really that worried – you were due to go down there anyway. See you soon, Naruto!”

“Remind me why I put up with you again?” Sai grumbled as she ended the call.

“Because I rescued your arse, and you worship me for it,” she replied tartly, slinging her coat over her shoulders, grabbing the car keys – which Sai snatched out of her hand almost instantly.

Sai strode towards the door, grabbing a backpack, packing away some water for what Sakura knew was going to be an adventurous day. “I’m going to be using a picture of your face as my target for today,” he informed her blandly.

“Make sure it’s a good one.”

* * *

The Akatsuki Range was a venture owned by Kisame and some of his friends – most of whom Sakura hadn’t seen for one reason or another. They were all enthusiasts when it came to guns, and Sakura had the strangest feeling she might get along with them. Either that or she’d want to kill them for driving her up the wall.

“Sakura!” Naruto bellowed, running over as soon as she entered, arms open ready for a hug. A hug he soon aborted as soon as he caught sight of her arm in a sling and the bandages on her shoulder. “What happened?”

She waved a hand, batting away his concern. “Nothing serious, Naru, now come and let me give you a one-armed hug,” she ordered, patting his back as he cautiously reached around her with his gangly limbs to gently pat her own back a single time. _Like she was a breakable porcelain doll._ Sakura almost rolled her eyes at his antics.

“Dickless. How nice to see you again,” Sai spoke blandly, and Sakura moved away from the brewing commotion, heading towards her other friend. _Who’d she got shot trying to rescue._

“Sasuke,” she said, waving awkwardly.

His eyes narrowed. “Why didn’t you tell me you were injured?”

“It’s a minor thing, don’t worry – besides, I don’t mind just watching,” she said. “Sai was due to come here anyway, so I probably would have come to watch him instead. It’s not like I have to be on bedrest or anything.”

Sasuke stared at her, concern written all over his face – not that it was visible for someone not looking for it. Uchiha, she had learnt over the years, were like that. “Well, my cousins came with me… to teach me… and they said I could invite a couple of friends over, since that way it might be more… fun.”

 _And help him forget about the night he got kidnapped, no doubt,_ Sakura mused, eyeing the small tremble and jerkiness to Sasuke’s actions. He was shaken up, and rightly so. “You alright?” she inquired, bringing up her good arm to rest it on his shoulder as he began leading them towards a meeting room. “You don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine, Sakura…” he said. “There’s just a lot going on in my life right now.” They stopped outside a quiet room, one she knew people met up in to have a _talk_ about safety on the range and what _not_ to do unless one wanted to be kicked out.

“Oooh,” Naruto mumbled, all but barging in front of Sasuke to push open the door, bursting inside before either of them could call for him to be polite. “You’re not Shisui,” he said, glancing back at Sasuke as he peered into the room.

“Shisui is from my mother’s side – these are my cousins from my father’s side,” Sasuke informed, and Sakura frowned. _She’d never met anyone from Uchiha Fugaku’s side of the family – nor had she looked into them, wanting to give her friend privacy there._ Her parents had known, and they hadn’t disapproved of their friendship, so that was enough.

“You must be Naruto,” a horribly familiar voice sounded. _Abort,_ a voice screamed in the back of her head. _Abort. Abort._

“That’s right,” Sasuke said, stepping into the room. “And this is Sakura.” He gestured to her, and Sakura found the strength to step forwards, smiling pleasantly. Part of her savoured the way those blood red eyes widened ever so slightly, before satisfaction curled in her belly at the sight of his bandaged shoulder – his arm in a matching sling to her own.

Uchiha Madara offered out his hand, a smile on his face.

Sakura took it. “Seems like we match,” she said, smiling pleasantly even as Madara crushed her hand in his grip. Sakura crushed his right back – she had an excellent grip strength, and she used it to its full capacity right then and there.

“Seems that we do,” Madara said as sunnily as possible for an Uchiha.

Sakura refused to back down, continuing to crush his hand as he returned the favour. She could taste the tension in the air, both of them having perfected the art of smiling whilst mentally envisioning all the ways to kill the other.

Sai peered over her shoulder, flipping over his book on all things emotional – the one he always carried on him when around everyone aside from her. “Ugly, is this what’s known as _sexual_ tension?”

Madara’s eye twitched.

Sakura loved her best friend sometimes, and all the reactions he could provoke. _Though it didn’t mean she didn’t want to strangle him any less in that instant._


	5. encounter

“Soooo,” Sakura all but sang, seating herself down on the sofa opposite the man who no doubt despised her by that point in time. “Any reason why you wanted me to hang back?”

Madara folded his arms. “I do believe we need to have a conversation,” he said, face stern, body language almost unreadable. “Otherwise there’ll be consequences on your side if you decide to continue as you are,” he continued, heedless of the confusion blooming across her face. “You shot me. Surely you didn’t think you could get away from this unscathed.” He laughed, a cold, harsh sound. “So unless you want me to ban Sasuke from seeing you, then I suggest you send that little minion of yours aw—”

“You hear that Sai?” Sakura mumbled, a sly smile splitting her lips as she stared up at her partner. “You’re my _minion—_ ow!”

Sai pulled that much harder at her cheeks, a slight smile on his face as he did so.

A knock at the door startled them all. “Sai?” Kisame stuck his head into the room. “I’ve blown up the picture you wanted as a target today,” he said, handing the large target board over to her partner.

Sakura felt her own eye twitch. “Shhaii, I shaid shoe get a goo shoto!” she grumbled around the fingers pulling at her cheeks.

Sai stared down at her blandly, a smirk curling at his own lips as he grabbed the photo of her mid-sneeze, before prancing out of the room, ignoring her cries behind him.

“Sai, you dick!”

Madara cleared his throat pointedly then.

Sakura raised an eyebrow, closing the door. “So, what did you want to discuss?” she asked. “You shot me first, for no good reason – and if you do that to a hitwoman then you should expect at the very least to get shot back.” She folded her arms. “You should be grateful you’re still alive.”

“As should you, unless you wanted my entire family chasing you down to kill you,” he said, smiling pleasantly still. _Though that was to be expected from the Uchiha Clan Head – he could probably talk sunnily about killing people for hours on end._

Sakura crossed her legs. “Was that supposed to scare me, dear?”

Madara’s eye twitched.

Sakura smirked, satisfaction curling in the pit of her belly – a certain desire to keep that eye of his twitching rising the longer she stared at him. He was awfully easy on the eyes. _Too bad his personality was anything but pleasant…_ or maybe that was the wound on her shoulder talking. “I’ve got nothing against you now – in my eyes, we’re even… well, so long as you don’t do anything stupid to me or my own. Sasuke is my friend, and I’ve sworn off hurting the family of my friend—”

A pointed look at his own shoulder had Sakura backtracking.

“Well… I mean any _permanent_ harm. Like killing, or severely maiming. That’s just an itty bitty shoulder wound, and if you think it’s anything worse, then man up.”

Madara’s eye twitched yet again.

Sakura sniggered. _Maybe it was a bad idea to taunt to big bad leader of the Uchiha Clan…_ She shrugged. _It was certainly amusing though._ “For now though, I think I’d best go and catch up with my dear friends _who I’d go to any lengths to protect_ , unless you want them to get the wrong idea… y’know, after what my _beloved partner_ said,” she continued. “We cool?” she asked, walking around the coffee table so she could stare down at him. _It was the only chance she’d get to actually look down at him._ “Excellent,” she said, uncaring of his actual answer. “So, I think it’s clear then”—she perched herself on his lap, enjoying the way he stiffened as her fingers reached out to caress his cheek, a fake smile on her face as she spoke next— “fuck with me, and I’ll fuck with you.”

Fingers clamped around her shoulder. _Her injured one._ Madara smiled then, and it promised nothing but more pain. “I was expecting an apology,” he said flatly, grip tightening. Sakura didn’t give him the pleasure of seeing her whimper or wince. “So… anything you’d like to say?”

Sakura blinked, mind blanking before her brain decided to blurt the first thing which came to mind.

“Harder?”

Madara complied for once, and Sakura gritted her teeth, silently apologising to Tsunade and her precious stitching. He smiled then – a sadistic one. “You asked for it.”

Her eye twitched, pain consuming her shoulder as he continued pressing on the sensitive skin there. “I never would have pegged you for an S,” she mused, grabbing out her mobile, ignoring Madara’s scathing glare as she flicked open the group chat she had badgered Zabuza to create for them all.

“What are you doing?” he inquired, still glaring at her as though she were a bit of dirt on his shoe.

Sakura pressed the send button. “Telling all my friends – of the hitman and assassin variety of course – this vital piece of information since—”

Madara snatched the phone from her hands, but it was far too late. The message was sent and had already been read by pretty much everyone there almost instantly. Smiling, she grabbed her mobile back, removing herself from the vicinity of the _angry_ man who looked alarmingly like a tea kettle about to boil over. She had her boys to meet on the range – and a partner to throw various sharp implements at the second they got home.

Really though, she should have been expecting the revenge because this was _Uchiha Madara_ and he was apparently the pettiest man alive. As proven by the _Haruno Sakura is an M_ tagged on the largest billboard in the busiest part of town.

“SAI!” she yelled.

“NO!”

“Where are the guns?” she screeched, turning their apartment over in her quest to find the weapons Sai had evidently hidden from her.

“NOT TELLING!” Sai shouted from his room, only to hurry out into the living room when she made a sound of delight. “Like hell I’m letting you run off to shoot Uchiha Madara again!” he hissed, all but diving on top of her in his quest to stop her.

Sakura kicked him off with her two good feet, ignoring the twinging in her shoulder. “I’m not going to shoot him, duh,” she grumbled, grinning manically as she marched on the door – Sai clinging desperately to her waist in a bid to stop her. “I’m just going to shoot his car… and write the word _dick_ with the bullet holes.”

Sai huffed. “And here I thought I was special.”

“You are.” She patted his head, placing her gun to the side for a split second in order to do so. “I actually _like_ you.”

“Well, since you _like_ me so much, then why don’t you put down the gun and—”

“I don’t like you _that_ much.”


	6. revenge

Sakura wasn’t quite sure how things had escalated to the point where she had ordered a custom made body pillow, but she wasn’t too sure she wanted to dwell on that fact. As much as she would have loved to have made one of the man himself and cut of his head and coated it in blood… that wouldn’t nearly have been as entertaining as what she and Sai had come up with.

Sai had decided to partner up with her. _Ever since Madara decided to trash their flat – revenge for his car, he had stepped aboard the ‘let’s destroy this bastard’s reputation and drive him up the wall’ ship and the rest was history._ Though said car was still happily sporting the word _dick_ written in bullet holes. Sakura was immensely proud of that fact.

Mindful of the meeting going on next door in Madara’s office with both Senju Tobirama and Senju Hashirama present, she snuck in through the window, toting the large body pillow behind her as she soundlessly got everything ready. She pulled the covers back, a gleeful grin on her face as she tucked in the custom-made body pillow – for which Sai had obtained the picture. Though in theory their plan wasn’t a guaranteed success. If only Madara came out of the office, then it would fail. Sakura had her hopes up. If not, there were always other opportunities.

Still, she wondered how exactly Sai had got a picture of Senju Tobirama naked, but then she figured she didn’t really want to know.

Smirking, she climbed back out of the window, hurriedly making her way out of the Uchiha Compound and over to where Sai was – sporting a sniper rifle aimed at the vase on Madara’s bedside table through the window she had left open. Sakura peered through her binoculars, giving Sai the go ahead, keeping her eyes peeled on the array of windows showing the office door slamming open.

Sakura giggled, staring at the three figures which had run out of the office at the sound. _Bulletproof glass was no good if there was a window open._ Though the distance probably would have been an issue for anyone other than her beloved partner. “I’m actually excited for what Madara cooks up for his revenge for this,” she said, sniggering at the bright red tint she was sure was painting Madara’s ears.

“Proof that your parents dropped you on the head as a baby,” Sai muttered, carefully packing away his sniper rifle – his precious baby. “He might decide to shoot us for all the trouble we’ve been causing.”

* * *

He didn’t.

Sakura blinked as Uchiha Madara practically materialised out of the crowd in front of her on the streets, swiftly turning on her heel and hurrying away to the nearest safehouse. She only made it halfway, before another Uchiha blocked off her path. “Fuck,” she muttered, glancing between the Uchiha blocking the alley ahead, and the two flanking Madara.

She probably ought to have spotted the ploy, but clearly she was out of practice. _Or the Uchiha Clan was just that good…_ Or because it was Monday, and she hated that day with an unholy passion. Either way, after a gentle tase, she soon found herself tied up in pretty knots across the backseat of Madara’s four by four.

Madara smirked at her from the front seat.

Sakura glared, chewing determinedly on her gag, anticipation curling in her gut as she was driven to what she realised to be the Uchiha Compound.

She was dragged inside, Madara a few metres ahead of her all the way, a contented smile on his face. Though it was more of a satisfactory smirk if she thought about it. She blinked at the office she found herself in, eyes narrowed as she surveyed the room. _Was he going to try and murder her there?_ she mused. _It would be hard for them to get the blood out of the carpet and the wooden flooring though._

“Haruno Sakura,” Madara said, seating himself down in the armchair. “Do you know why you’ve been brought here…” he trailed off, sighing all of a sudden. “Take off her gag and bring her closer,” he ordered, folding his arms across his chest as he watched his men free her from the gag they had so wonderfully put on her.

But as they brought her forwards, two things happened simultaneously. Their hands loosened the grip on her arms, and then Sakura tripped on something she hadn’t seen – being too busy glaring at Madara.

Her face slammed into something warm and hard, and she groaned slightly, wincing at the slight twinge to her nose as she pulled her face back from – Sakura blinked, confirming she wasn’t mistaken – Madara’s crotch. Her mouth moved almost automatically – no doubt reminding Madara of why he’d had her gagged in the first place. “Have I ever told you how comfortable your crotch is?”

Madara raised an eyebrow. “Really, now?” he muttered, voice tinged with a slight amount of discomfort – the kind that came from basically being headbutted in the balls.

“Nope,” Sakura said, grinning unrepentantly. “So… what terrible revenge do you have planned for me today, oh great and terrible one?”

Madara’s eye twitched. “Well, seeing as how you like body pillows so much, I’ve decided you should become one,” he declared, smirking down at her and her look of horror.

“Wait, so you mean you’re going to kill me and stuff me full of cushioning?” Sakura muttered, whistling lowly. “Damn you have an odd taste—”

He hid his face in one hand, sighing deeply. “Would somebody gag her please?”

“Rude,” Sakura said, seconds before the Uchiha with the scarred face had the gag fastened back in place, and all Sakura could do was gurgle her displeasure at them.

“Now, as I was saying _before I was so rudely interrupted,_ ” Madara hissed, glaring at her. “You’re going to be my body pillow for the rest of the week,” he said, waving at the sofa on one side of the room.

Needless to say, Sakura was oddly bamboozled by the turn of events as she was forced to lie on the sofa, Madara resting his head against her belly as he all but lay on top of her as he read through all his documents.

“Can I brush your hair then?” Sakura asked after a few minutes of the silence – Madara having dismissed his minions.

Madara sighed. “How did you get out of that gag?” he asked, still reading through his oh so important documents even as she began to play with the hair which had bothered her since the day she had laid eyes on it. _It was just asking to be attacked by a brush, and Sakura was all too eager to obey._ “Obito is the best at tying them.”

“What kind of hitwoman doesn’t know how to escape ropes, gags, and handcuffs?” Sakura snorted at the question, pulling out a hairbrush she’d left in her coat pocket in the rush of leaving the house that morning.

“Well clearly I’ve been meeting the wrong sorts of hitwomen then,” Madara said.

“Obviously,” Sakura remarked, a grin on her face as she started the attack on his hair.


	7. promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter... but at least I'm updating?

She heard the commotion first – and only worked out exactly what was going on the second Sai burst through the door, panting heavily. Black eyes bore into her own, and Sakura froze halfway through brushing Madara’s hair. “Oh, evening, Sai…” she said, taking an odd amount of satisfaction from the way his face twitched. “I do hope you didn’t kill anybody on the way in here.”

“ _Ugly_ …” Sai seethed between pants. “Unlike you, I prefer not to go making enemies of influential clans,” he said, still sounding tart despite his apparent exhaustion. “They’re unconscious. I was only going to go on a slaughter spree if you were dead.”

“I _knew_ you cared,” she said, going back to her self-appointed task of neatening Madara’s hair – not that it was working in the slightest. His hair was ridiculously spiky, and apparently very resistant to falling flat. The only thing she was doing was getting rid of the tangles. _And, boy, were there a lot of those._

Surprisingly enough, she didn’t get a knife thrown at her face for the comment, though Sakura suspected it was more to do with the fact that Sai was tired after breaking into the Uchiha Compound where she’d been cooped up for the past few days than not minding her little comment.

“Why does he call you ugly?” Madara enquired, glancing up from his work to look between the pair of them – calm despite the fact there was an intruder halfway through his office door.

“Because I call him _Dick_ … y’know.” Sakura shrugged. “Affectionate nicknames between friends.”

“Affectionate,” Madara said blankly, blinking and shaking his head. “Only you,” he muttered, before he raised his voice, shouting for his minions.

“Don’t hurt him?” Sakura pleaded cautiously, before smacking her fist in the palm of her other hand as the thought occurred to her. “He helped me with the body pillow prank, so you can use him as your other body pill—”

Madara placed his hand over her mouth, sighing deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose as Sai let himself be captured by the pair of Uchiha who appeared in the doorway – content in the knowledge that she was safe and alive.

Sai stared at her, eyebrow raised. “You’re letting yourself be used as a body pillow?” he asked in that bland demeanour of his. “So this entire thing was just you both pulling each other’s ponytails…” he said, unfazed by the two Uchiha holding his arms still.

Sakura blinked in confusion. “What?”

“I read about it in my guide,” Sai said, and Sakura felt a sliver of foreboding. _Nothing he read in his guide ever usually came in handy. In fact, he usually embarrassed her – claiming he was simply trying to learn the ways of the strange emotions which people before her had tried to strip away from him._ “Toddlers and small children are said to pull the hair of the people they have a crush on—”

“Out,” Madara hissed, eye twitching furiously. “Take him to the cells!”

Sakura turned to him. “Don’t hurt him too much, please?” she pleaded again, slightly concerned for the safety of her annoying friend. _She loved his annoying tendencies with an exasperated fondness, but she was well aware of his tendency to drive people to want to commit bodily harm against him._ Sai was special like that. _Very special._

“Oh… and why should I do that?” Madara asked, a demented grin on his lips as he stared at her – and how she was still sprawled out over the sofa. “That brat has been infuriating me from—”

“I’ll let you take me on a date.”

Madara walked to the door, calling loudly after his minions. “Put him in the nicest cell we have!”


	8. date

Sakura blinked, feeling strangely frazzled as she walked next to her date. _And wasn’t that an odd term to use to refer to one Uchiha Madara?_ It felt weird – calling him that – but he was… bearable. He was actually quite the gentleman, and he’d proved chivalry wasn’t totally dead. _Not that she’d needed him to help her out of the car._ She was a capable woman, though Madara didn’t seem inclined to forget that.

Their minor _prank_ war, as they were calling it now, had seemed to come to a conclusion. _Not that Sakura was about to forget how he’d trashed her old apartment._ She and Sai had been forced to move their permanent residence.

“I can’t believe you would rather drink _coca cola_ than whiskey,” Madara sniffed beside her.

Sakura slurped at the bottle of coke she had bought from the grocery shop nearby. “Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.” She was still dressed ridiculously – thanks to the horrendously posh restaurant Madara had dragged her to. _Sai had all but demanded that she dress to suit the occasion._

“It’s just… sugar…”

Raising an eyebrow, Sakura stared at him sceptically. “Yes, and?”

He folded his arms. “Hn.”

“Do all Uchiha have a genetic disposition for _hn-_ ing?” she enquired, tilting her head as she stared up at him. _And all his however-many inches he had on her._ High heels could only do so much, and they hurt. _Not to mention they were dangerous for the inexperienced walker._ She had almost twisted an ankle the first few times she’d worn those shoes.

“Hn.”

“I don’t speak _hn,_ dear—” Her phone rang then, and both of them blinked at the interruption to their evening. “Sorry about—”

Madara’s phone rang then – the one he used for _business_ – and Sakura could only frown as she spied the caller ID on her own. It was Sai, and he would only be interrupting her date for something important, and not just because he was stuck in a cell.

_Or was he?_

Glancing over at her partner for the evening. “Mind if I get this?” she asked, only pressing the green button once Madara nodded curtly as he made to answer his own call. _Though Sakura highly suspected it was only a call to inform him about a certain missing prisoner._ Sai could be a slippery bastard when he wanted to be.

“Sakura!” Sai’s voice came through the speaker, and Sakura frowned at the hint of panic and fear in his voice. “It turns out the Uchiha don’t take escape attempts lightly,” he said, just as Madara finished up on his call. Red eyes narrowed on her phone, and Sakura could only smirk. “I’m at Tsunade’s…”

“So why are you calling me?” she enquired. “You know I’m with tall, dark, petty, and handsome, right?”

“Yes,” Sai said. “But you should probably get over here… This place is a mess…”

Chuckling Sakura only smiled, knowing her mentor all too well. “It’s Tsunade – what did you expect? Is she there? I’ve been meaning to invite her out to catch—”

“She’s missing.”

Sakura blinked, ignoring the concerned look Madara sent her way as she stumbled back, heart pounding. _Because Tsunade was one of the ones at the top of a noticeably short list of people she really, truly cared about_. She was the one who had patched Sai and her back up when they had pulled off what had to be the biggest hit of their criminal career. Tsunade had taught them finance and safety in regards to the ridiculous amount of money they had cashed in thanks to the bounty. She was the one who had all but taught her how to cook after her parents had died. “What do you mean, Sai?”

“The place is trashed, and Tsunade isn’t here,” he said, and a lump of ice settled in her chest. The noise of other’s walking and hurrying about the streets faded away, her throat feeling horribly dry all of a sudden.

“I’ll be over soon,” she mumbled, hanging up in a split second before she turned to her date.

Madara folded his arms, annoyance written all over his expression. “I presume that was our illustrious escape artist?”

“Indeed,” Sakura said, smiling at him sweetly. “I don’t suppose you’ll be able to give me a lift over to Tsunade’s, would you?”

“Are we going to pick up that annoying brat?” he asked, smiling back just as sweetly – though his words were anything but.

“No. I’m going to meet him, and then I might have… some business to take care of,” she said, eyes narrowing as she thought about what fate the one who had seemingly kidnapped Tsunade would meet. _Tsunade couldn’t be dead._ Sakura refused to think like that.

“Business, huh…” Madara murmured. “I guess duty calls then,” he said, rather more amicably than Sakura had been expecting. “What an annoying way to end an evening.”

“I’ll let you take me on another date,” she said, making her way to the car they’d driven there. _And sadly it wasn’t the one she had shot up._ “If you’re still interested after tonight…?” One eyebrow rose in question, and Sakura smiled up at him.

Madara huffed, sliding in behind the wheel as she snuck into the passenger seat. “Fine,” he grumbled petulantly. “But he’d better not interrupt the next one, otherwise I’ll throw him back inside his cell. _Permanently._ ”

“His comfiest, nicest cell in the Uchiha Compound,” Sakura remarked, smirking as she remembered his words. “Makes you wonder why he escaped in the first place…”

“Because he’s an idiot.”

Sakura couldn’t really disagree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so begins the 'sprinkles of plot' and backstory...


	9. hunt

The car rolled to a stop outside Tsunade’s, and Sakura wasted no time in hoping out. She was across the road and heading straight towards the familiar building before Madara could get a word out. Frowning at the sight of the large black car parked outside Tsunade’s clinic, she hurried up the steps, only pausing when she heard the sound of Sai’s voice.

“I’m telling you it was like this when I got here,” Sai said, and Sakura’s gaze flickered back to the car outside. It wasn’t Sai’s, and that meant it no doubt belonged to the person talking with her partner. “I was injured, as you can see, and I came here to find treatment. I have nothing to do with Tsunade’s disappearance – in fact, I was just calling my friend in regards to this, since we’ve both known Tsunade for a while… since we were both children. There are pictures in her desk to prove it,” he continued, talking surprisingly quickly and without the usual snide edge he usually had when speaking with her.

Hurrying in, noting that Madara was making his own way up the steps after her, she was met with a sight she had somewhat anticipated. _Because of course Sai could only not antagonise people at gunpoint._ Two sets of eyes turned to her, one black, the other a deep brown which could easily be mistaken for black. White hair and brown hair met her stare, and Sakura sighed as she realised she was now face to face with two of the underworld’s giants.

_The Senju Brothers._

“Hashirama?” Madara stopped in the doorway behind her. “What’s going on here?” he asked, eyes narrowed as he took in the sight of Sai sitting on the edge of one of the hospital beds with Senju Tobirama pointing a gun in his direction.

“Tsuna’s gone missing,” Hashirama spoke, expression uncharacteristically solemn. “And this boy is one of Shimura Danzo’s old subordinates.”

Madara stiffened, and Sakura felt his gaze on her, eyebrow raised in question.

Sakura clicked her tongue. “Wrong,” she all but sung, ignoring Sai’s soft sigh. _She’d chew him out later over that – when he didn’t have a gun pressed to anything vital._ “He’s actually one of the children kidnapped from their homes during Shimura’s reign of terror over Konoha years back. He never served him,” Sakura said, ignoring Sai’s glare as she spilled some details of his life _before_ she had rescued him. _Whilst making off with Shimura Danzo’s hefty bounty._ “Besides, if either of you have a brain you’d be able to work out that he was _ten_ years old when the old coot got offed.”

Sai rolled his eyes. “Sakura, you know, sometimes your worse than me when it comes to insulting people,” he remarked, watching with that gleeful glimmer in his eyes as her face twitched.

“Oh I’m sorry, do you want me to let you be murdered?” Sakura grumbled, glaring at him as he sat there seemingly without a care. _But the nervous twitch of his knee told her otherwise._ “My apologies for interrupting then.”

Madara only sighed behind her. “He was injured after escaping from my compound, so he has a reason to be here,” he said, glaring at the white-haired brother. “Put the gun down, Tobirama.”

“Why should I listen to you?” Black eyes bore into the red ones which Sakura had spent half the night gazing into.

“Well…” Sakura smiled, knowing she had no choice but to reveal some little facts about her illustrious past if she wanted to get Sai off the hook and possibly gain them a job while she was at it. _Given how the name Shimura Danzo had come up, it likely had something to do with the bastard who’d killed her parents. And Sakura was all for petty revenge… even if she’d already killed the bastard._ “Hypothetically, if someone had managed to off Shimura Danzo at the tender age of ten, and also managed to forge ties with the Uchiha Clan Head some eleven or so years later… would you really want to get on the bad side of that person?”

One white eyebrow rose, scepticism written all over his face as he stared between her and Sai. “That sounds closer to fiction than fact.”

“Well, the fact is I despised Shimura Danzo, so why on earth would I work with a subordinate of his?” she enquired, smiling sweetly at Tobirama as she did. “A victim though… one who despises the name Danzo just as much as me… now that would be a different story entirely.” Shrugging, Sakura stared at him. “Call Zabuza. He can vouch for all of that…” she said, tucking her hands into her pockets. “And then maybe we can talk about the price for all the information we have on Shimura Danzo’s old hideouts and associates… given how whatever this is seems to involve him.”

Silence reigned for a few moments, and then Hashirama had his phone out – calling a number Sakura was very familiar with. _Zabuza was a trustworthy contact, not to mention a good informant._ It always paid to be on his good side, and after rescuing his prized sword on one of their assignments, she and Sai were most definitely in his good books.

“Forging ties with the Uchiha Clan Head, huh?” Madara intoned wryly, a smirk on his face. “I’m so glad you put so much stock in our relationship.”

“Even if you drink whisky and wear a ridiculous suit, it doesn’t change that you’re a decent person,” she said, cleaning out the dirt from under her fingernails. “Plus you’re hot, and very much my type. Why do you think I offered that date?”

“You do know that I’ve killed people… and that I run a clan involved in organised crime, correct?” he asked, staring down at her even as Hashirama started speaking on his mobile and Sai and Tobirama continued their stare off.

“I’m a hitwoman. I kill people for money.”

Madara blinked, before shrugging. “Fair point,” he conceded. “I doubt I would have met you if you weren’t.”

“And that would have been a crying shame,” Sakura said dryly, leaning against the doorframe, smiling up at him as they milled about in the doorway, waiting for Hashirama to finish his conversation and for Tobirama to stop holding his gun against Sai.

“Put the gun down, Tobi,” Hashirama spoke, ending the call. “Seems she’s telling the truth.”

“Too right I am,” she mumbled, folding her arms as she found herself the sole focus of those deep brown eyes. “Now… shall we get down to business? Or are we just going to stand around here like imbeciles for the rest of the night?”

* * *

Sakura sat down on the sofa in Tsunade’s office room, Sai and Madara on either side as the Senju Brothers took their seats opposite them. The light was on in the room, though the mood was rather dark – what with their missing doctor.

“We believe Orochimaru is responsible, given the ouroboros calling card we found on Tsuna’s desk,” Hashirama said. “With what you’ve just told us about your history with Shimura Danzo, given that Orochimaru was once a subordinate of Danzo… I believe you might just be able to be of use to us.”

Sakura nodded. “I take it that means you want to hire us,” she said, swallowing at the implications of becoming involved with the Senju Clan. _But given she was dating Madara, and Hashirama and he were said to be good friends…_ She was grateful for her tentative boyfriend being at her side.

“That would be correct,” Hashirama said. “It would be a onetime contract with no strings attached… seeing as we both have an… vested interest… in seeing Senju Tsunade returned safely.”

Closing her eyes, Sakura sat back, relaxing slightly at the implications of not being bound to the Senju Clan. _Of not being put on their list of targets to eliminate_. “So what is it you want from us?”

“Investigative work,” Hashirama spoke, and Sakura blinked at the unusual request. “You know Danzo’s old bases, and there’s a high likelihood Orochimaru is operating from one of those. The request is simple – find out which one he’s operating from.”

“Draw up a contract and send it through Zabuza,” Sai ordered, folding his arms as he glared at Senju Tobirama. “We’ll operate through him.”

“I guess that’ll be everything for tonight,” Sakura added, standing up alongside Madara. _Who she was hoping would give her a lift back home._ “You can contact us via the usual method, or just ask Madara.” _She had given him her number that night._ “We’ve got some preparations to make.”

Sai’s grin was shark-like. _Kisame would be proud._ “Seems like we’ve got ourselves a snake to hunt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the manga, Tobirama's eyes are black if anyone's wondering... so that's why I used black - seeing as Mad's has red eyes here. I pretty much always go for the anime depiction of Tobirama's eyes, because red eyes are cool. Plus it's one of my favourite colours, so there's that.


	10. mistake

“I’m getting flashbacks of Iwa,” Sai informed her monotonously as he sat next to her as they sat in the back of the cargo plane, strapped into their seats while they waited for their drop zone to be announced.

Sakura clicked her tongue. “Sai, I’ve told you before. What happens in Iwa, stays in Iwa,” she reminded him, shuddering at those memories. That had to be one of her hardest jobs, excluding the miracle she’d pulled off as a child. _A miracle of spite and patience_. Shuddering at the memories of the sewer, she froze at the buzzing sound, the red light flicking on, signalling they’d reached the drop zone.

Pushing her goggles on, helmet fastened, Sakura unclipped herself from the seat, smiling at Sai as he joined her. “After you, Ugly,” Sai said, waving at the drop in front of them.

“See you on the ground.”

* * *

The night breeze was cool against her skin, the tracker on her wrist indicating their position relative to the location of one of the last bases they had to investigate, and it was by far the most troublesome to get to – especially without alerting any possible owners – hence the parachuting in. In a remote location surrounded by mountains, with only a single path leading in through the forest in the flatland gap between the great mountains, it might have made a beautiful sight, had it not been for the ugly compound blotting the landscape.

Their destination, even as abandoned as it looked.

No lights were visible, and it was only thanks to the tracker telling her of its location and the light of the moon which occasionally peeked through the clouds.

“Sai,” she whispered into her communications device, having stowed her parachute away as best the could. _She could hardly have it billowing around and setting off any traps that might have been still active._ It was one of Danzo’s old bases, which meant one could never be certain of anything.

“On the ground,” came the reply. “Be careful. I’ve spied an active trap already,” he said, and Sakura swallowed hard. “It looked like a recently laid one too – not some remnant left there for the past eleven years… I do believe we might have some company here.”

“You might be right,” Sakura said softly, keeping to the shadows of the trees. “Should we head for the roof? The floor plans suggest there should be an entrance of some sort up there. If not then there’s always the vents.”

“See you up there in ten,” Sai replied, before their communications went silent as Sakura tried to think of a path to the rooftop whilst avoiding any potential cameras and traps.

* * *

The hallways were just as creepy as she remembered them to be. All of Danzo’s old bases were far too similar for her liking. She could hear water dripping from somewhere, the small, constant noise doing nothing to set her nerves as she crept down the corridor – her gun drawn and ready. Orochimaru was a twisted bastard, and Sakura did not like the thoughts of running into any of his traps.

He had already been a twisted boy, but his stay under Danzo had only made him worse. Sakura had seen the aftermath of his unnatural experiments. Silently, she shuddered at the thought of the fate which had been awaiting Sai before she had broken him out of Danzo’s Seventh Base after the manic panic after Danzo’s assassination.

Something about the boy with hair as black as night, and dull black eyes had called to her, and she was eternally glad she had listened to that. She doubted her life would have been the same otherwise.

Sai grabbed her shoulder, almost startling her before she realised it was him, directing her attention to the light spilling from the doorway in front of them. He held up a single finger, and Sakura frowned, realisation he was saying there was only _one_ hostile.

_Orochimaru?_

Sakura bit her lip. From her information, Orochimaru wouldn’t have been alone. He always had subordinates. He always had people to use as shields while he slithered away like the slimy snake he was.

Gingerly, she approached the door, a frown pulling at her lips when she spotted the unconscious figure on the hospital bed, and the faintly familiar silver head of hair.

It wasn’t Orochimaru.

Sai stepped around her, walking into the room like a cat, silent and unnoticed until he made his way across half of the room.

“Ah,” the figure swivelled around, syringe in hand, and Sakura frowned as she spotted where it was it was connected to. _The strange patient in the bed._ Sakura glared at the figure, chewing on her lip as she mulled over who they were exactly. There was a glaring feeling that she should know the person – but she didn’t. She didn’t even remember meeting them, and considering the man had _pale blue_ hair, she was fairly sure she’d remember them, if only because their hairs shared rare pastel colours.

“Kabuto,” Sai said, providing her with the information they were up against Orochimaru’s beloved apprentice, who was just as twisted and warped as the older man himself. “How wonderful to see you here,” he continued, gun fixed on the silvery-haired man.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Kabuto said, smiling as though he wasn’t busy being held at gunpoint. “Unless you want my fingers to slip… and that would make poor _Tsuna_ very upset.”

Sakura felt her teeth grind together at the nickname. _He didn’t even know Tsunade. He didn’t have the right to call her that._ But then she noticed something. A glaring mistake in the setup. Frowning yet again, she looked around the room, hurriedly trying to spot what the blatant error would result in. Kabuto and Orochimaru were tricky like that.

But they were also human.

And humans made mistakes. Sakura reminded herself not to forget that even renowned geniuses could have moments of stupidity. Glancing at Sai, she raised an eyebrow, silently asking if he’d noticed it too.

Sai wasted no time in severing the IV line with a single shot, and Sakura wasted none in shooting Kabuto.

The silence that fell was an oddly tense one, and Sakura waited, dead still as she looked about for the trap which ought to have activated after Kabuto was dealt with. _He and Orochimaru were spiteful bastards who always wanted to take their enemy with them when they went._ But there wasn’t anything.

“Well that was anticlimactic,” Sakura muttered.

Sai hummed in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Kabuto.
> 
> Bye Kabuto.
> 
> It's crack. What can I say?


	11. flight

Sakura blinked at the sight of the message on her mobile, frowning even as she alternated between deciphering Madara’s message and checking on their newly acquired patient. Though Sakura wasn’t entirely sure they could call him a patient, given how they’d removed him from the bed and the substances they assumed were keeping him asleep. _Plus there was the added fact that unlike Tsunade she wasn’t a qualified doctor._

They had dragged his unconscious body to the helicopter bay, strapped him into one of the seats, and then they had taken off, ready to take him the nearest hospital. _Or perhaps see if the Senju or the Uchiha knew exactly who he was?_ It was bugging Sakura by then. _Though the Senju would be more likely to know, or so she reckoned._

“What is it?” Sai asked, eyes focused on the controls and the view in front of them as they flew back home – both of them eager to leave Danzo’s old base far behind. That and all the memories it had brought up to the surface.

Sakura pouted. “Apparently they found him,” Sakura grumbled, glaring at the message box as though that could make it disappear. “They were searching some of the bases we told them about, and it seems the snake was at one of them,” she said, huffing as she sat back in her seat. They hadn’t been of as much help as she had hoped. Though it was only natural to split the workload of the bases, given how they only numbered two, but the Senju Clan had much greater numbers. They had agreed to go to the more remote, and that much more dangerous bases. _All to narrow down which base Orochimaru was hidden away in._ “Apparently they’re dealing with him now.”

“Location?”

“Ah. The twelfth base,” she answered, bringing up her map. “You remember where that is, right?”

Sai gave her a brief, withering look. “What do you take me for?” he asked, scoffing in the next breath.

“An idiot,” Sakura informed him bluntly.

Sai glanced at her, eyebrow raised. “That was a rhetorical question.”

Sakura only smiled. “I know.”

Rolling his eyes, he turned back to face the front. “I’ll head over in that direction. We’re not too far out – not at this speed, anyway.”

“Oh goodie.”

Sai snickered. “I’m sure you’ll be able to see the snake’s head soon enough, Ugly,” he said, and Sakura only grinned at the thought. _She hadn’t thought Orochimaru a problem with Danzo dead and gone, but then he had went after Tsunade._ Though admittedly she would have preferred to deal the finishing blow. “Though you might want to tell tall, dark, and broody that we’re coming. I don’t know about you, but I would prefer _not_ to be shot down on sight.”

“Imagine that,” Sakura drawled, typing the message out, nodding when she saw Madara was active.

**Sakura:**

**Got a place to land a helicopter nearby?**

**Madara:**

**????**

**Sakura:**

**Heading over with Sai in a helicopter we found.**

**Madara:**

**Because you can just casually find a helicopter lying about.**

**Wait.**

**Are you flying it?**

**Because you really shouldn’t be texting if you are.**

**Sakura:**

**You do care. I’m touched.**

**Madara:**

**(** **づ￣ ³** **￣)** **づ**

**Sakura:**

**(** **っ** **▀¯** **▀)** **つ**

**Madara:**

**So… are you flying it?**

**Sakura:**

**No. My butler is.**

**Madara:**

**Is that annoying brat aware that he’s your butler?**

**Sakura:**

**I’ve been training him for the last several years secretly.**

**Madara:**

**OK then.**

**Sakura:**

**But seriously now. Is there anywhere to land?**

**Madara:**

**There’s a large expanse of flat tarmac. I’ll just get some of Hashirama’s goons to move.**

**Sakura:**

**See you soon.**

“I see someone’s happy,” Sai muttered, and Sakura blinked as she became aware of the smile on her face.

“Shut up, Dickface,” she hissed.

Sai only smiled in that placid way of his. “Though if you are intending on bringing him home, I would ask that you don’t engage in sexual relations on the sofa, since it’s relatively new and I would not wish to find evidence of your copulation—”

“I would be strangling you if you weren’t flying,” Sakura grumbled.

Sai’s smile only widened. “I know.”

“I will be strangling you _after_ we’ve landed,” she informed him, glaring holes into his head.

“Only _if_ you can catch me before tall, dark, and broody distracts you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because more madasaku interaction was needed... even if only via text...


	12. reunited

Sakura yawned as they touched down, sighing quietly as she spotted the familiar mane of wild hair. _Her fingers itched to brush it, no matter the fact it wouldn’t change anything._ Madara’s wild locks were there to stay, whether either of them liked it or not.

“We should get our patient out before you attempt strangulation,” Sai informed her breezily, and Sakura felt her hands twitch. _She was missing Sai’s neck in between them._

“Thanks for reminding me,” she said, glaring at him darkly as they unclipped their patient from the seat. “I’ll take the legs. You take the head?”

“Acceptable.”

Together they manoeuvred the limp body out, ignoring the raised eyebrow they earnt from Madara as he hovered by the open door. “I don’t suppose you know who this is?” she asked, peering at her beau as she hopped out of the helicopter, careful not the drop the pale blue-haired man’s legs. She didn’t particularly want to injure the guy even more. _It would only get her a lecture from Tsunade…_

She chuckled at the thought, eyes immediately roving across the flat expanse of tarmac in front of her to lock on the familiar blonde-haired form. Her shoulders relaxed, tension fading as she spotted the older lady standing a little ways in front of her, looking slightly harried but otherwise mostly unharmed. _Seemed the Senju Clan had done a decent job of rescuing her mentor._ Though it was hardly a surprise, given how Tsunade was a member of said clan.

“Are we going to ask them if they recognise this guy, Ugly?” Sai asked, ignoring Madara’s scoff at his nickname for her wonderful self.

Sakura shrugged. “Might as well… or at least get Tsunade to see what’s wrong with the guy,” she remarked, making her way over to where the Senju Clan Head was hugging her mentor. “Oy! Old lady!” she yelled, smirking at the annoyed glare which her mentor soon sent her way.

“Sakur—where did you find him?” Tsunade ran over, bypassing her completely in order to heft the pale blue-haired man from their awkward carry.

Blinking, Sakura stared between the two of them, frowning at the look of happiness and relief plastered on the blonde’s face. “You know him then?” she asked, tilting her head as she glanced back at Sai who looked similarly confused at the situation in front of them.

“He’s my fiancé.”

Sakura blinked again. _Oh._ Her jaw dropped as the recognition struck true. _No wonder his face had seemed familiar – the old lady had a photo of the pair of them together on her desk._ “Cool,” she mumbled, nodding as she made to leave the pair of them to their own devices.

“Sakura!” Tsunade’s sharp voice had her turning back around. “Thank you.”

“Uh. No problem, old lady,” she muttered, head snapping around when Sai snickered. “Well now,” she said, smiling at Sai as she lifted both hands. “I believe it’s about time I came through on my promise.”

Sai only smiled.

A throat cleared next to her, and Sakura froze as she noticed Madara had snuck up on her. _Or that her instincts no longer registered him as a threat after all those cutesy messages he’d sent her whilst they’d been separated._ “Is this a bad time?” he asked, staring down at her with those blood red eyes of his.

Sakura waved a hand flippantly. “Nope. I was just about to strangle my idiot partner over there for some stupid comment he made while we were flying… because it’s bad manners to strangle the pilot while they’re flying.”

“That it is,” Madara said, offering out his arm. “Fancy getting drinks now that this ordeal is all over?”

“God yes,” Sakura mumbled, grabbing the proffered arm.

The arms which came around both of them were a surprise. “Brilliant idea,” Hashirama all but sung, oblivious to the irritated glare both she and Madara shared as they found themselves shepherded them over towards the larger group. “I know the perfect place.”

Sakura sighed, still clinging to Madara’s arm as they found themselves swept along in the tidal wave which was Senju Hashirama’s enthusiasm. “We can ditch them later?” she offered.

“Now that is an idea I can get behind,” Madara said, keeping an eye on his cheery brown-haired idiot of a friend. “But we’ll probably have to wait a bit. Hashirama will get all pouty if he notices us missing too soon.”

A hand patted her on the shoulder – Sai having been apparently swept into the group by the bubbly brunette. “I see tall, dark, and broody is doing an excellent job of distracting you.

The kick she sent his way in retaliation felt entirely justified.


	13. future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this turned more into snapshots of their life and domestic fluff by the end of things... whoops...

Sakura hummed the opening theme music as the movie started playing in front of them. They had opted to spend the night in, over at her place, which was how they’d ended up watching one of the many movies she and Sai had collected over the years.

Madara’s toes poked out from under the end of the blanket which stretched over their legs, and Sakura knew they’d be freezing by the end of the hour. _And knowing him he’d probably try to heat them up by resting them against her stomach – the git._ “I can’t believe you took half an hour to pick the damned movie,” she grumbled, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Not my fault you have too much choice,” he said, reaching for the bag of chocolate buttons before she slapped his hand away.

“Save some for the movie,” she warned. “I swear you’ve eaten half the packet already…”

He only pouted, sitting back with a huff. “Spoilsport,” he muttered, and Sakura only rolled her eyes as she snuggled into him, scowling when his hand managed to sneak its way into another bag of sweets to rescue something else to satisfy the enormous sweet tooth he had.

“Ugly,” Sai’s voice had her jamming her finger down on the pause button with a quiet sigh. “Broody,” he added, having long since decided on a nickname for the newest addition to their makeshift family. “Here’s your popcorn,” he said, placing the bowl down on the coffee table. “I won’t be able to get you any more tonight though.”

Sakura blinked at that. “You off to bed then?” she asked, frowning as she saw the time. “Don’t tell me you’re trying out a new training schedule – because we both know what happened last time you tried that.” _It hadn’t ended well for either of them_ was the only answer they needed to remember.

“No, Ugly,” Sai said blandly. “I have a date.”

Madara choked on his drink. “Sorry,” he said. “I think we misheard you… because you said _you_ _had a date.”_

“Oh no. You heard me correctly.” Sai smiled.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. “How much are you paying them?”

A glint of silver was the only warning she got before a knife was sailing towards her face. Madara grabbed it before it could hit, weighing the throwing knife up in his hand as he examined its quality with an expert eye. Not that he really needed to. She and Sai only bought the best weaponry for themselves… not, she supposed, that Madara would let her do any otherwise, given their status of happily dating – as they had been for the past two years.

“Rude,” Sakura muttered.

Sai stared at her sceptically. “Nothing,” he answered finally. “She actually likes me for who I am.”

Madara coughed, hiding his laughter as Sai assumed his blank façade once more.

Sakura only shovelled a handful of popcorn into her mouth, smiling slightly as she tasted the salt. “Have fun, Dickface,” she called, turning around to watch the movie as she pressed the play button. “Try not to shoot anyone before the night’s out!”

“I thought that was you,” Sai remarked, shutting the door behind him as he left for the night, leaving the pair of them to their lazy night in.

“That brat made us salty popcorn again, didn’t he?”

Silently Sakura offered him a handful.

“He’s such a dick at times,” she mumbled.

“You still live with him.”

“Meh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asjfk i had no actual clue about how to end this, but voila...


End file.
